Komal Rizvi spoke candidly about her abusive first marriage.
She said that she was only 21 years old when she got married.
The beatings started after the actress had resided in Dubai for a year.
On Nadir Ali’spodcast, singer and actress Komal Rizvi spoke candidly about her abusive first marriage and how she left it. When Rizvi reflected on her past, she admitted that she was quite naive because she was just 21 years old at the time of her marriage, it was semi-arranged, and she had only been given four months to accept the proposal. The beatings started after the actress had resided in Dubai for a year, and when they got worse even the police had to be called, and she moved to Oman.
“I was quite young when I got married; I was only 21… I had no relatives or friends to turn to during our time in Oman, and my ex-husband never provided me with money to keep me under his thumb. I once reported him to the police for assaulting me. But instead of doing anything, they brushed it off as a family issue and went, leaving me by myself with him.” she said.
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After getting a divorce four years later, the actress reflected on her experience and said she wishes more parents would teach their kids about respecting boundaries because her ex-husband would psychologically torture her into thinking the beatings she was suffering were her fault.
“Women in our society are told from an early age that they will have a lovely wedding and a spouse who will take care of all of their needs. That is why so many women are prepared to give their marriages everything they have. But I hate that women are never taught the value of setting boundaries that, even their spouse, cannot breach. I most regret not doing it because I would not have wasted three and a half years trying to save my marriage”, she stated.
“My spouse would use all kinds of psychological tricks to gaslight me and try to convince me that the beatings were my fault because I irked him. He can claim, for example, that it was your fault that I was served cold food because of which I whacked you in the head with a frying pan. I persisted in thinking that if I worked more or loved him more, he would be proud of me” she further said.
she hoped parents, and particularly men, would learn from her revelation, Rizvi said that men must learn to respect women, and they must make sure to give a woman who had a lot of protection when she lived with her parents the same amount of honour, respect, and love when they bring her home. Give her twice as much love and attention as you typically did when she becomes the mother of your kids.
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