England’s pain is Australia’s gain

Australia demolished England by an innings and 14 runs in the third Test in Melbourne on Tuesday to retain the Ashes.

Earlier, Joe Root’s men were also beaten comprehensively in the Tests in Brisbane and Adelaide.

Let’s take a look at how poorly the visitors have played Down Under

 Most defeats 

The tourists’ defeat at the MCG was their ninth Test loss in 2021 — a joint record for a calendar year along with Bangladesh in 2003. With the fourth Ashes Test starting on January 5, England will be glad to see the back of 2021.

 Disastrous batting 

England’s poor batting has been central to their demise. Skipper Joe Root, along with Dawid Malan, has been a rare bright spot. Root has 1,708 runs for the calendar year, at an average of 61.00. But a distant second to him for England in 2021 is maligned opener Rory Burns (530 runs), then Jonny Bairstow (391).

Sitting ducks 

Malan, Jack Leach, Mark Wood and Ollie Robinson all went for 0 as England folded for a paltry 68 in their second innings in Melbourne. Cricket experts Wisden said that was a record-equalling 54 Test ducks for England in 2021.

 Century record 

Led by veteran fast bowler Jimmy Anderson, England gave themselves a chance in the third Test, before their batting again let them down. Australia’s first-innings total of 267 was the lowest to win a men’s Test by an innings this century, Wisden said.

 Unplayable Boland 

Bowler Scott Boland had a dream debut for Australia on home turf at Melbourne Cricket Ground, taking five wickets in just 19 balls, the joint-fastest five-wicket haul in Test history. He finished with incredible figures of 6-7 off four overs to write himself in Ashes folklore.

A relentless Australia spearheaded by debutant Scott Boland skittled England for an embarrassing 68 on Tuesday to win the third Test by an innings and 14 runs and retain the Ashes with two matches still to play.

Just when a demoralised England thought their tour could not get much worse, they folded in the morning on day three in Melbourne and will now be desperate to avoid a series whitewash.

The nature of the win even surprised the home as stated by home team’s captain Pat Cummins.

“It is pretty insane,” he said. “Just an awesome few weeks, everything clicked and everything worked out. Thrilled for Scott Boland. We have been relentless. The bowlers have just turned up and owned their areas outside off-stump. There have been big partnerships, everyone’s performed, everyone’s contributed — it’s a great feeling.”

Ben Stokes resumed on two but his poor tour continued when he was clean-bowled by Starc for 11. Jonny Bairstow made five and when Root was out it was all over, with the tailenders quickly following.

“It is what it is,” said a dejected Root, who is facing growing calls over his captaincy.

“Credit to Australia, they blew us away last night and they have outplayed us in this Test match — in fact the series so far.

“We have a lot of hard work to do now and come back strong in the last two games.”

Covid threat 

Whether there would be play at all at the MCG was in doubt after four members of the England party — two support staff and two family members – tested positive for coronavirus on Monday.

But all players from both teams underwent PCR tests after stumps and returned negative results Tuesday morning, with the first ball bowled on schedule.

England’s beleaguered Ashes tour went from bad to worse Thursday with under-pressure coach Chris Silverwood to miss the fourth Test in Sydney after a family member tested positive for the coronavirus.

Silverwood and his family have to isolate in Melbourne for 10 days while the rest of the team head to Sydney for the clash starting on January 5.

The coronavirus threat remains persistent as on Friday morning, it was confirmed that the home team’s batter Travis Head will miss the fourth Test after testing positive for the pathogen.

The touring party has now registered seven positive cases — three support staff and four family members — since a PCR testing regime was implemented on Monday after the virus was first detected during the Boxing Day Test.

Reports suggest that fast-bowling coach Jon Lewis, spin coach Jeetan Patel and strength and conditioning boss Darren Veness were also believed to be in isolation.

Batting coach Graham Thorpe is expected to take over as head coach in the interim.

The International Cricket Council (ICC) match referee David Boon, who has officiated at every Test so far, will also miss Sydney after he too tested positive.

Silverwood’s absence is another major setback for England on a tour where little has gone right, suffering three heavy defeats in Brisbane, Adelaide and Melbourne to ensure Australia retained the hallowed Ashes urn with two Tests still to play.

And the timing could not have been worse, with his job widely seen as on the line.

Joe Root’s captaincy has also been criticised, but fast-bowler Chris Woakes insisted he had the support of the players.

“Absolutely. Joe is a great cricketer, he’s got a great cricket brain and I think his record as England captain is actually pretty good,” he told English media.

“Definitely it feels like Joe will continue. Hopefully he will. It’s clear that the captaincy isn’t having an effect on his batting, which a lot of the time with captains can be the case.”

Root will overtake predecessor Alastair Cook’s record of 59 Tests at the helm when he leads the side out in Sydney.

 ‘Clueless’ 

England’s miserable batting, which followed eerily familiar collapses in Brisbane and Adelaide, was castigated by the British media.

“Gutless England batsmen deliver full spectrum of ineptitude,” screamed The Daily Telegraph, while The Sun slammed “Clueless England”.

Former Test opener Nick Compton calls for a change in the team management after the disaster.

“I would make a change now,” he said while talking to Sky Sports. “I think Silverwood is a good man and did the best he can. Kirsten would be the right person. He understands top-level batting, he’s been there in a consistent fashion. Are (managing director) (Ashley) Giles and Silverwood the problem? That’s the big question. I don’t think suddenly you come in and overhaul everything.”

He continued by saying: “It’s about getting the right people into the right places. I don’t think Giles has made the right appointments. I think Kirsten should have got the coaching job, someone who’s more skilled, with experience of taking teams to No 1 in the world, who has won World Cups. With all due respect to Silverwood, he’s given his absolute best, but he hasn’t had the long-term experience of being a head coach. As well as giving him complete autonomy with the selection, it’s a huge role to take on. The selection has been pretty abysmal in this series, it obviously hasn’t worked. He could have stayed as the bowling coach, I think Kirsten would have been the right man to take on this role.”

On the other hand, former top-order batter Jonathan Trott thinks that England should stick with Silverwood for now.

“Yes, certainly. Chris has been embedded in the England side for a while and has done a great job. The results haven’t gone his way, but you can’t forget the scenario of his tenure has all been [during the] Covid [pandemic],” he said.

“It has been a very difficult place to be in regards to getting the right side and balancing of the side and swapping players in and out. Sure, there have been things that probably could have been done differently but that is all in hindsight.”

Trott, who worked as a batting consultant for England in the Test series against India earlier this year, also believes that some of the results is down to fatigue.

“I know firsthand going to India for nine weeks at the beginning of the year how tough it can be, living in a bubble and how that weighs players down,” he said. “Obviously playing for England is a huge honour and a privilege. It can be a very tough place to be if you don’t find that release to keep yourself fresh and make sure that you are enjoying the experience.”

He continued by saying: “It is not always enjoyable, but it is a case of making sure that you are ready to perform at the best of your ability. The environment is not exactly as we all know it.”

Meanwhile, he also extended his support for Root and said that he should remain England’s Test captain.

“It hasn’t knocked his performances, we see him head and shoulders above the rest, averaging 60 in this calendar year and playing beautifully,” he said. “I would say if it was having an effect on that (his captaincy) then there was maybe a decision for him. But at the end of the day, I think Joe has earned the right to decide whether it is right for him or whether he feels it isn’t.”

“I would say stick with him, he leads from the front not only through his performances but the way he is off the field having been in and around the squad, watched him and having played with him as a youngster.”

However, Mark Butcher thinks that someone like Nasser Hussain is needed to lead the current Three Lions’ Test side.

“As far as Root is concerned, you have to look around and think, ‘Who would you give the captaincy to?’,” Butcher said. “I’ve been thinking of some names who could possibly take over. Ben Stokes is clearly one, but he’s England’s premium all-rounder playing in all three formats – is it really going to be beneficial towards his performances to take on the extra load as captain?

“He might say yes, but history suggests that’s a difficult task to undertake. Just ask Andrew Flintoff. Then you’re looking at people outside the team altogether. James Vince is captain of Hampshire, has experience of leading, and so you’re almost looking outside the current crop of players,” he added.

Warner hints for last Ashes tour in 2023

David Warner has hinted he is keen for one last Ashes tour in 2023 to make amends for his failed campaign in England two years ago, drawing inspiration from veteran seamer Jimmy Anderson.

The explosive Australian opener would be approaching 37 should he retain his place that long and in all likelihood would have joined the 100-Test club. He currently has 89 caps.

Winning in India is also on his bucket list before pulling up stumps on a Test career that has so far yielded 7,551 runs at 48.40.

“Winning the Ashes here was obviously a big one,” Warner said after Australia crushed England in the third Test in Melbourne to retain the Ashes.

“We still haven’t beaten India in India, that would be nice to do.

“And England away — we had a drawn series (in 2019) but hopefully if I manage to get that opportunity, I might think about going back.”

England hasn’t been a happy hunting ground for Warner, who had a horror tour in 2019, when he managed just 95 runs at 9.50 from five Tests with Stuart Broad dismissing him seven times.

“In terms of 2019 it was obviously in England so he (Broad) was able to get the ball to come back into us and away from us,” said Warner, who has been a mainstay at the top of the Australian order for a decade.

“For me it was one of those tours where I didn’t back my game plan and I went too defensive and I didn’t attack. That was my fault, and he bowled really well.”

Whether Warner can still be competitive into 2023 remains to be seen, although he has been written off previously and come roaring back, most recently at the Twenty20 World Cup.

He was dropped by his Indian Premier League team Sunrisers Hyderabad ahead of the World Cup, leading some pundits to suggest his best days were over.

But Warner responded in the only way he knows, by scoring runs, and was named player of the tournament as Australia lifted the trophy.

He pointed to England’s Anderson, still going strong at 39, as an example of cricketers performing at their peak well into the twilight of their careers.

“James Anderson sets the benchmark for older guys these days, we look up to him getting on in our days,” Warner said after Anderson bowled beautifully in the Melbourne Test.

“For me it’s just about performing to the best of my ability and putting runs on the board.”

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