Andleeb Abbas

Making your life’s story into a bestseller

“Life is a story, make yours a best seller”. This saying by anonymous is so true. Where you are born is not your choice, but where you live, make a life and a living is your choice. This is a truth that is hard to accept. Life in present times is considered hard and those living it a bit unlucky. Imagine people being born in an era of constant unrest, growing insecurity, a never-ending pandemic and constant resource shortage. With the continuous threat of man-made conflicts and a very devious and dangerous environment, where Mother Nature is becoming unpredictable, many feel that they are born in the most unfortunate era. When we tell stories of our time, it actually seems a ‘story’ to them. When the younger people complain about the restrictions, they hear stories about how Pakistan was such a wonderful place to live. How life was more peaceful and how it had more human connectivity, safety and beauty. How people were more content and happy.

This is where the present conditions in the country seem to be irksome to many. Previously, in the two socio economic classes, the unrest could present choices. The lower classes were able to move to the Middle East as the demand for labour in these countries presented opportunities to many people. The rich could simply send their kids to foreign countries and take turns to live in the country and abroad. In more recent times, these choices have narrowed down. With the Middle East coming out of that construction phase, and the Western world facing recession and racism, life in the West is no longer the movie depicted vacation it seemed to be. People living here are wishing they were living elsewhere and people living abroad want to return, but cannot find a social and mental space for themselves or their families. They feel entrapped and imprisoned. This goes against human nature and creates frustration and victimism. Thus the constant crib of ‘why us’ is a very demoralizing and defeating attitude. Life is a story that can become huge if your legacy survives beyond you, or, it can become a ‘no’ story where you are shunned and avoided as you only left behind the helplessness and haplessness of your existence. The way to write a bestseller of your life’s story is:

1. Leaders are born out of adversity – It is important for the chapters in your life to embrace difficulties with the attitude of ‘this threat is my opportunity’. No leader in the world has become big if his story did not have ‘impossibilities’. This is something we need to spread in our schools and colleges, our offices and our homes. We must make youth and elders see change as a challenge that must be embraced. LUMS has started a wonderful initiative which encouraged students who have been enrolled in a National Program of outreach to tap poor, remote students to get the best education opportunities. Recently, they have documented the stories of these students of how they turned adversities into opportunities. Amongst the many such stories is the story of an alumni Adeela Sarfraz. Born in a village Mohra Rajgan, near Pindi, she had little access to basic amenities in her life. She went to a school where she had mud slates to write upon and a house where there was no electricity and her studies were done under lanterns. Her hard work made her qualify for LUMS and she is now a Finance Manager in London in a multinational firm.

2. Innovation comes out of ruin – With the country going through a huge economic crunch, the organisations and households are full of stress and fear of failure. This is the time for taking inspiration from a recent global crash of a century that Pakistan as a country not only passed through, but became a case study of success. Corona ruined lives and economies in the most developed of countries. India crashed, US crumbled and Europe tanked. In the midst of this gloom and doom, Pakistan became a model of success quoted by World Economic Forum and World Health Organization. The reason was that Pakistan converted death into life, bankruptcy into growth, failure into success. A country that had hardly 1500 imported ventilators, started producing ventilators locally designed by the students of NUST. The textiles mills that were closing down converted into making corona medical uniforms and for the first time beat India and Bangladesh in textile exports. This is the spirit this nation has and this is the spirit that needs to be told and relived.

3. Passion overcomes demoralization– Most people claim that they are passionate about what they want, but complain that circumstances are not letting them do it. That is where they need to be coached. Anything that really matters and you are passionate about, you will go for it despite circumstances. The live examples of many sports players who have not given up despite circumstances is something that needs to be celebrated and discussed. Samina Baig who conquered Everest at the age of 21 is a story that needs to be told repeatedly. She was a frail girl from the village of Hunza, doing odd jobs as a helper. Now she is a mountaineer who has climbed K2 and 7 of the world’s highest peaks. Her brother, who was her coach, has not been able to do all this. Passion is thus the ability to rise from failure after failure with the same enthusiasm.

4. Inspire those who aspire – Most people find life meaningless. They are stuck in routines. They find no purpose in what they do. They lose the zest for life. You can make a contribution by becoming a source of inspiration for people to find their purpose. Your purpose can be aimed at helping people to discover their direction, passion and purpose. Look at Haniya Minhas who has become the first Pakistani girl to win the Asian Tennis Federation (ATS) Championship. Her journey has been remarkable. She found a mentor in Abdul Razzaq Dawood’s foundation that funds talent. She has been invited to European Championships now where 24 of the best female players compete. Thus the ability to help others find their destiny is also a great meaning in life.

5. Every story is an opportunity to learn – It is not what you do when you are rising, but when you are falling. As they say in boxing, you can be knocked down many times. Most will just stay put and get knocked out. It is those 10 seconds between the knocked down and knocked out that makes the difference between a fall in disgrace or a rise with honour. The great boxer Mohammad Ali’s return to boxing after having been stripped his medals by the US government for not enlisting in the Vietnam War is an amazing story of resolve, resilience and renewal. His strategy to let his opponent tire out during his return fight spoke volumes of the man’s learning ability. A boxer whose aggression made him rise, changed his strategy to catch his opponents’ unaware shows what a great part learning plays in moving from setbacks to comebacks.

Life is a story. Each chapter represents an opportunity and a theat. Each page poses a choice and a challenge. Each word contains messages and meanings. It is up to us to create themes for each chapter so that it is a page turner which grips the audience with a story that is not just well told, but well lived. A life lived with meaning is a story that outlives us to become a story and legacy. These stories make fairy tales look insipid compared to the power of real, up close and live human tales.

The writer is a columnist, consultant, coach, and an analyst