On the occasion of the emotionally packed Father’s Day, Demi Lovato spoke up about their exceedingly difficult relationship with their late father.

On their Instagram Story, the singer wrote a long statement expressing her feelings.

“Trying not to wake up sad.. Trying to stay positive. Today is always so difficult. This is for anyone else who’s lost a father, can’t be with their dad, didn’t know their dad, or anyone who has a tough relationship with their dad,” they wrote. “I spent many years on this holiday wondering whether or not I should call him.. take it from me, if you can, make the call.”

“Some days I regret not calling but other days I’m proud of myself for holding my boundary because I was doing what was best for me and my mental health. It’s complicated, and I wish it were different but this made me into the person I am today,” Lovato added. “Anyway my heart goes out to the people still holding their boundaries as well.”

Patrick Lovato, Demi Lovato’s father, died in 2013. The Heartbreak crooner opened all about their father’s death in a 2015 video.

“I was very conflicted when he passed because he was abusive,” she said. “He was mean, but he wanted to be a good person. And he wanted to have his family, and when my mom married my stepdad, he still had this huge heart where he said, ‘I’m so glad that [he’s] taking care of you and doing the job that I wish I could do.”

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