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John Lennon was set to be a little different from his early childhood. The formative years of our lives tend to shape who we become in later life. Our insecurities, relationship tendencies, friendships and behavioural demeanour can often be traced back to nurture.
In his post-Beatles years, when he tried out primal scream therapy, Lennon addressed his well-known difficulties with maternal abandonment. While he struggled to deal with The Beatles’ growing stardom, his latent fears were a persistent presence throughout the 1960s and wrecked havoc on his personal life.
By 1964, The Beatles had achieved global fame, and there was a new chorus of adoring superfans on every corner. As the Beatles increasingly lost their freedom, a weird feeling of loneliness developed alongside the flattery of celebrity. In order to avoid the paparazzi and the throngs of people, they frequently had to hide out in hotel rooms with close friends and partners.
During these early years of fame, Lennon was quoted as saying: “The price of fame is not being able to go to the Phil [a pub] for a quiet pint.”
The least prepared to handle such a dramatic rise to stardom was John Lennon. Following the band’s first trip to the United States, Lennon wrote his subdued appeal for assistance, “I’ll Cry Instead,” in 1964. The song was created for the soundtrack of the Beatles’ debut motion picture and third studio album, A Hard Day’s Night.
The song’s appealing rhythm and upbeat tone make it appear, despite its name, that it isn’t a call for aid. The song, however, becomes a window into the musician’s deepest emotions as one examines the lyrics in light of Lennon’s actual experiences at the time.
The lyrics read: “I’ve got a chip on my shoulder that’s bigger than my feet / I can’t talk to people that I meet / If I could see you now, I’d try to make you sad somehow / But I can’t, so I’ll cry instead.”
He followed this up with: “Don’t wanna cry when there’s people there / I get shy when they start to stare / I’m gonna hide myself away / But I’ll come back again someday.”
Paul McCartney once observed that although Lennon’s self-deprecating and sombre lyrics appear to mirror his sentiments of fame-induced claustrophobia and loneliness at the time, the song also appears to be addressed to a specific person. More than the burden of celebrity, McCartney thought the song revealed how Lennon felt about being “trapped by his marriage.”
Cynthia, John Lennon’s first wife, appeared to support the first hypothesis, nevertheless. She once remarked about the song, “It reflects the frustration he felt at that time. He was the idol of millions, but the freedom and fun of the early days had gone.”
Unfortunately, Lennon never revealed the real idea behind “I’ll Cry Instead,” much to our disappointment. In an interview with David Sheff in 1980, Lennon completely sidestepped the topic regarding the song’s beginnings.
“I wrote [‘I’ll Cry Instead’] for A Hard Day’s Night,” Lennon replied. “But Dick Lester didn’t even want it. He resurrected ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’ for that sequence instead. I like the middle eight to that song, though – that’s about all I can say about it.”
In retrospect, the song was probably the result of a variety of concerns and vices, but McCartney’s claim seems to be one of the more obvious causes. Lennon and Cynthia’s relationship suffered considerably after their 1962 wedding. When John Lennon and Yoko Ono first met at a London art gallery in 1966, the turbulent last years came to an end. On the basis of infidelity, he finalised his divorce from Cynthia in 1968.
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