What should I do when my ex-boyfriend requests to communicate?

Query: My ex-boyfriend began sending sporadic forwards during the lockdown, which evolved into more intimate texts. Since I had no resentment for him, I joined in the conversation in a neutral tone, but it seemed that he misinterpreted what I said. I don’t want anyone to end the steady relationship I’m in. I don’t want to harm him further though. What should I say to him so that he doesn’t feel offended to remain away?

Response from Dr. Ishita Mukerji, Senior Psychologist and Program Director at Kaleidoscope: What matters, then, is the level of love we feel for someone, which fluctuates depending on our relationship with them. Numerous people try to find it in a romantic partnership with a compatible companion (or partners). Such people find great purpose and fulfillment in their romantic relationships, which are among life’s most important parts. While the need for human connection may seem to be innate, developing a loving, healthy relationship takes patience, experience, and observation over time. Expressions of caring and ongoing communication are necessary for maintaining a solid relationship in order to develop a healthy partnership.

Both parties in a relationship should give the other their time and attention. Additionally, there must be a commitment to respecting one another’s differences. Emotional and physical fairness, especially in the division of domestic responsibilities, is a defining characteristic of good relationships. Additionally, couples in healthy relationships express their gratitude to one another, freely give and receive affection, and have open dialogues about a range of topics. When sustained throughout time, this emotion can assist couples in overcoming the difficulties they would unavoidably experience together at various phases of life.

You can balance your existing relationship with the help of a few guidelines to prevent any disruptions.

SUGGESTIONS FOR HEDGING UP THE RELATIONSHIP:

• You should go ahead and be upfront with your existing partner about your plans and reiterate your devotion to them.

• If you are clear, it is crucial to communicate that clarity.

• The language should strongly convey the intended meaning while maintaining a cordial tone.

• By being transparent, you could prevent damaged feelings and irrational expectations.

• Define boundaries that both of you understand and agree upon.

• Be cognizant of your inner feelings at all times. Be aware of your feelings about being with your partner, practice regular introspection, and pay attention to your emotions.

• Explain the problem to your partner and enquire about his thoughts and feelings. Share your perspective with him and describe the scenario as it seems in the current context.

• Let your ex-boyfriend know about your new relationship, that you take it seriously, and that you intend to spend the rest of your life with him.

• Explain to him that you no longer have a relationship with him, that you’ve moved on, and that he should do the same.

• Inform him that you can only be a buddy to him and nothing more.

Therefore, the way we behave in relationships teaches us how to love and be loved. Furthermore, it makes it crystal evident who we want in our life and who we don’t. We may be our full selves in partnerships that are serious and honest.

The right people will stick around in your life for the right reasons if you are just yourself. Be open and honest at all times, and those that care will adore the real you!!