Let’s Talk About Men!

Back in 2018, Arbaqan Changezi a young aspiring model at the age of 21 got the call of a lifetime. He had just been selected to walk the ramp for a fashion show in Lahore. At 6’1 and 77 kgs, seemingly well built, had not previously been concerned about his frame, “I was told to lose weight if I wanted to be part of that show, I killed myself, starving for three weeks which was really concerning because as a child I struggled with an eating disorder that led to severe body dysmorphia, that comment really triggered me and I eventually came down to 64 kgs”, he says, adding that it was made worse by the fact that it was something he always had to deal with internally. “I felt very insecure and didn’t know how to deal with that.” Arbaqan, very proud of his Hazara origin and many a times he felt overlooked by the fashion industry because of the way he looks. “I’m not the book definition of a Pakistani male model, I have a different looking face, I fell in no category so eventually people just stopped looking, we pretend and talk about inclusion and diversity but when the camera is off people call that dark model “kaali” and that is just not right.”

Lean, muscular men are widely upheld as totems of the ideal Pakistani male. They usually come in two varieties: thin and lean like Hasnain Lehri; or built like Grecian gods like Shehzad Noor, many times with only one thing in common, not an ounce of fat on them. Of course, these creatures are not restricted only in enclosures of fashion publications, but they dominate the grasslands of our catwalks, advertising and campaigns for luxury fashion houses not to mention good old ‘razors and shaving products’. They are seen as undisputedly aspirational and an example of the way all men should look.

The past decade as seen a sort of transformation when it comes to women’s body-positivity. It has slowly and gradually become a movement that has made great strides, ignited by sororal calls-to-arms on social media demanding a more inclusive image that empowers everyday women. plus size models, such as ‘Baemisaal’ have been on covers of magazines and graced the ramp for the country’s most coveted couture brands. Curves have been embraced just as skin color has-to an extent- by the fashion industry, which has rallied in support of inclusivity and the promotion of diverse looking women.

The raison d’être of this movement is to embrace all, irrespective of body, gender, disability or color, but so far, it has focused only on women. This makes sense given the enormous pressure that’s long been placed on females to conform to a certain beauty ideal.  Yet, as male eating disorders and body issues go unnoticed, surely it’s time men followed the lead of women and started championing diverse shapes.

Nubain Ali is a leading show director who has worked with  Pakistan’s fashion councils and international organizations like the US-aid, we asked him if there was a lack in conversation when it comes to male bodies in fashion,” the conversation I’m having right now is the same conversation I have had many years ago with my peers, that the movement of body positivity and that of breaking unrealistic beauty standards cannot be restricted to just women”, he says, “I haven’t been asked by other brands to put plus-sized men in the line-ups, Not once, The issue extends beyond marketing to the more practical matter of product sizing and availability, products for bigger men are just NOT available.” He further goes on, “there are examples of recent efforts to challenge the notion of an imperfect body, but I suppose it’s done to capitalize and not actually to enforce change,”

TV, film, and fashion are not the only avenues spewing unattainable body standards. Even social media such as Facebook and Instagram that roughly amount for over 43 percent of the global population, many of our younger population is constantly exposed to images and videos of others working out every day. I’m sure many of you will find social fitness as motivational but it’s not surprising that many times it could come as intimidating and pressurizing. Between our Instagram feeds, movies, and publications, it’s difficult to avoid images of muscular, well-built men but issues with male body image go far deeper and more complex than just muscle. Many men struggle with figuring out how to deal with hair loss, height perception and skin care. Most of the times, because of this stigma, men with thinning hair, face the stereotype that they are less attractive, assertive, and approachable. In many instances hair loss is linked to feelings of inadequacy, depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. It’s no surprise that brands have caught on and ready to capitalize on this. A multi-national company confidently markets a fairness cream for men, with Fahad Mustafa as its face. Fahad Mustafa is a big screen giant whose fan following is well in the millions with appreciation from both local and international audiences. The catch being that by going a few shades lights, you too can experience desirability and good ‘Performance’. All of this going unnoticed by our more outspoken population, why? Are fairness creams not offensive when being marketed towards men? Or are capitalizing on insecurities disregarded based on gender?

While much conversation about inclusivity and change is happening online, it’s imperative that the same vigor comes into the real world. That is where real change will come. Embracing your own body comes with resolving many insecurities and living with even more, but for one a start should be to embracing vulnerability especially in men and accepting them for not just as Ertugrul but as wounded, sensitive, and seemingly imperfect beings. It’s about time we speak to the men in our homes and ask them, how do you feel about yourself?