Why Relationships Matter More Than Achievements

What I have learned through my work experience of some 36 years now is that no matter how good you are at your work and no matter how much you achieve, it is how good your relationships are with your superiors and your colleagues that make you successful in the truest sense of success. As Aristotle said: “Man is by nature a social animal,” where Man here is used to define the human being.

In fact, your success may not come at all if you do not enjoy a healthy work relationship in office or with your external stakeholders like vendors and agencies. That is because no matter what you do, it takes teamwork for it to be successful. In the best case scenario of not having a healthy relationship your project or task can be delayed, in the worst case, it can be deliberately neglected.

A good relationship with colleagues will also extricate you from a perilous position, while a poor relationship will make an advantageous position perilous.

For instance, I recall how the managers of one of the companies I consulted for had a great idea to penetrate the market and gaining a significant market share. But he was one arrogant fellow who did not get along very well with other executives. So it was that he went ahead with the idea by taking out an email on what had to be done for this idea to work and ordering a lot of stock.

To be fair, the email was not reasonably well written with the plan not laid out in detail. However, there were at least two executives, one looking after the warehouse and the other in sales who were not too bothered to act as quickly as desired. Because they had not been consulted in detail, the warehouse manager did not shift enough of the current stock to have room for the new stock ordered and the sales chap did not want to risk his distributors getting stuck with extra stock for which he would be answerable at a later stage.

The result was that the new stock arrived with not enough space to store it and the lot that did get out was held up at a distributor’s warehouse until the old stock got consumed. That took more time because the logistics of getting it out faster had not been discussed too much. The company was; thus, left with slow moving stock that was perishable in nature and there was a time when it was almost destroyed. Thankfully, another sales person took an initiative and had it consumed in his area and the crisis was averted.

I had a feeling that had more effort been put into that initiative by the warehouse manager and the sales person, things would have moved faster at the initial stages. But they had technical reasons to support what had transpired and could not be much faulted. I felt that both had deliberately not moved quickly enough because of the nature of the relationship they had. Not very professional all around but the fact was that the manager at the head office just had not cultivated a relationship with his colleagues; whereby, they would go an extra mile.

In my own career, I had initiated a couple of tasks; whereby, I had blundered in panning but had been bailed out by my colleagues in another department who, in fact, worked through the night just to get the process back on track.

So what defines a good working relationship? Well, there are several factors but at least four stand out in my experience.

Have mutual respect

I had always followed that dictum that respect is commanded, not demanded. For a relationship to be productive, there must be mutual respect for what the other person stands for and does. Even if the levels are different. Even when I was the head of marketing, I always showed that respect towards every area manager in sales though there were three levels between my designation and theirs.

That increased my respect in their hearts and the key was that while travelling with them on my town trips, I would seek their opinion on even strategic aspects of the brand. That was not designed to inflate their egos but sincere, as I felt they were close to the customers and their distributors. The relationships I had with them; thus, got me a lot of solutions whether at tactical or strategic level that actually helped me in my decision making.

Gain trust

When there is trust among the working colleagues, in fact, throughout the company, the relationships flourish. When one can feel s/he will not be reported for voicing an opinion, when there is a comfort level, while outlining your frustration, the relationship will become stronger.

Relationships are adversely affected when trust is broken. I recall the time I made the mistake — though I had the best of intentions — of telling a fellow worker’s boss that one of his subordinates was hurt by one of his actions. I had a good relationship with that head of the department and felt I was helping out both of them. He took it well that one of his actions had hurt one of his subordinates who we both knew was a very shy and reserved person, almost meek.

However, the next day that fellow came to me and was upset that I had told his boss about his feelings. I found out that the head of the department had admonished him later that he had mentioned it to me and that it had embarrassed him that he had treated a subordinate shabbily. I realised then that either I should have kept quiet or taken his permission to speak to his boss about it.

What happened in the next few weeks was that this person shied away from me and never spoke to me again, even though he had the confidence to confide in me on multiple occasions before that incident. He was a key worker and vital to a lot of the tasks I had to do but often I found that he would now not be completely honest with me when I asked him about input or suggestion. The trust had been broken and we never had the same candid relationship we had before.

Also, give respect in your communications. Yes, sometimes, there are those emails you have to write where you have been hard done by. But even in those, find a way to give the recipient of that email a way out and that you respect that position and person.

The best example I can give is that of my chairman when he needed to talk to me. If it was over the intercom, the first thing he would ask me is if I had a little time to speak at the moment or whether we can talk after 30 minutes or something like that. He was respecting my time and also checking that I was not having an important meeting in my room. If he wanted to meet me, he would ask what was a good time for me to come over, unless it was mightily urgent.

Honesty

This is the best relationship builder and actually entrenches trust and respect. Good relationships are built on honesty. If your colleagues see you as always having their best interests at heart, even — in fact, especially — when you disagree with them, they will feel you are their friend. And when you become friends, the relationship builds naturally.

Most importantly be honest with yourself and know your strengths and weaknesses. When a colleague see you openly admitting that a mistake, especially when they are involved in what has transpired, the relationship grows because, again, they get to have trust in you and respect you for your honesty.

When you are honest with yourself, you act naturally and the people like to build relationships with those who do not pretend to be what they are not.

To conclude, remember that if you have good relationships at the workplace at all levels, it will actually make you look better than you are. It will also make your achievements stand out more than those who do not cultivate relationships. Simply because more people will be talking about you and your ideas because of the respect you gave to them even as they sometimes find faults and downsides with those who they do not have a good, or even adverse, relationship with.

Not always fair to that other person but that is the reality.

(The writer is a corporate consultant, coach and former CEO with over 35 years of experience in leadership, building brands and organisational strategy. He now advises on business strategy, marketing, HR and media management).