2023 Oscars: Every joke Jimmy Kimmel made at award ceremony

• Jimmy Kimmel opened the 2023 Oscars with a slap joke.
• He joked about Will Smith’s slap incident last year.
• Kimmel jokingly called out those who were present last year.

2023 Oscars host Jimmy Kimmel opened the award ceremony with a slap joke.

Kimmel began the program with a funny monologue that featured jabs regarding Tom Cruise’s Scientology affiliation and Nicole Kidman’s much-mocked AMC commercial.

However, he also used a lot of one-liners in reference to the terrible Oscars 2022 incident in which Will Smith stormed the stage and smacked presenter Chris Rock for making a joke about his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith.

“We know this is a special night for you. We want you to have fun. We want you to feel safe. And most importantly, we want me to feel safe,” Kimmel, 55, began on Sunday night.

“So we have strict policies in place. If anyone in this theater commits an act of violence at any point during the show, you will be awarded the Oscar for Best Actor and permitted to give a 19-minute-long speech.”

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Continuing, Kimmel took a moment to jokingly call out those who were present last year when the slap went down. “Seriously, The Academy has a crisis team in place. If anything unpredictable or violent happens during the ceremony. Just do what you did last year: nothing,” he said. “Sit there and do absolutely nothing. Maybe even give the assailant a hug.”

Kimmel added that for those who “get mad at a joke and decide you want to get jiggy with it, it’s not going to be easy” this go round.

“There are a few my friends are going to have to get through first,” he stated before mentioning several famous actors’ tough characters, such as Michael B. Jordan’s Adonis Creed from Creed and Michelle Yeoh’s Evelyn Wang from Everything Everywhere All at Once.

Later that evening, Kimmel said, “Hopefully it goes off this time without a hitch, or at least without Hitch,” in reference to Smith’s 2005 romantic comedy, when introducing presenters for Best Documentary Feature. “Please put your hands together and then keep them to yourself.”

“At this point in the show, it kind of makes you miss the slapping a little bit, right?” Kimmel asked with a chuckle as the ceremonies approached the two-hour mark.

And after Everything Everywhere All At Once won Best Picture, Kimmel made one final barb at the end of the ceremony. “Great work, crisis team,” he jokingly said as he concluded the broadcast.

He then walked offstage, where he updated a sign that read “Number of Oscars Telecasts Without Incident” to read “001.”

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