I am the best!

Individuals with narcissism share common personality traits. The articles brings you the ‘Narcissist Checklist’ which may help you identify the narcissist hanging around with you.

Do you know someone who thinks he or she is better than everyone else and hits the roof at the slightest criticism? To understand the traits and behaviours of a narcissist hanging around with you, you must always have a ‘Narcissist Checklist’ with you to handle the possible situations better. In a selfie-obsessed culture like ours, the word ‘narcissism’ is often thrown around as a caustic descriptor for those who seem to be egocentric and are excessively self-absorbed. But what is it in reality?

In psychological terms, the personality trait of narcissism does not infer self-love — even though not of a healthy kind. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a complex personality disorder, which is more accurately defined as an obsession with an idealized, grandiose image of the self. As a consequence, the inflated self-image grants them an escape from underlying feelings of insecurity. However, perpetuating a delusion of grandeur calls for a lot of things to deal with, and this is where a narcissist’s dysfunctional behaviour neurotic attitude kick in.

Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder are self-centred and often behave in manipulative and patronizing ways, and lack empathy and consideration for others. A  narcissist thinks and behaves this way in every moment of his or her life, be it a home or workplace, interacting with friends to be it love and marital relationships.

Some common personality traits, as mentioned below in the Narcissist Checklist, may help you identify that you are in fact dealing with a narcissist:

• Having a self-absorbed, self-enamoured attitude
• Being very controlling
• Demonstrating lack of empathy
• Exhibiting an attitude of entitlement
• Suffering from chronic repression or suppression of anger
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• Engaging in manipulative or exploitive behaviour
• Behaving with a sense of superiority over others
• Living in an alternate reality
• Demonstrating a pathological defensive attitude

While the checklist may not be exhaustive, it can still provide you with a basic idea of the various ways a narcissist can interfere with your quality of life.

1) Dichotomy between public and private selves

While narcissists may appear charming in public, many characteristics do not reflect well on them. For a narcissist, maintaining a positive public image is crucial. For this purpose, they frequently provide a false or erroneous image of themselves to impress others. Frequently, what you observe in a person’s private life differs from what other people observe of them from the outside.

2) Showing superficial loyalty to others

Narcissists insist that you should be loyal to them yet they do not reciprocate since they are so consumed with themselves. Your purpose is to demonstrate how grateful you are to have them as an ally while also serving to boost their inflated egos. They might exhibit a certain level of loyalty towards you only if you are useful enough to meet their needs.

3) A false sense of infallibility

Narcissists are so preoccupied with being better than anyone else that they refuse to acknowledge their shortcomings,  lay blame on others for their mistakes and  defend themselves with  wrong information and concocted alibi. Worst of all, they tend to keep making the same errors time and again because they find it extremely difficult to admit  their mistakes.

4) Lack of emotional sensitivity

When asked to display sensitivity, compassion or obedience, narcissists may feel out of their element. They may pretend to care about others but on a deep level they show very little interest in truly connecting with people. Emotional sensitivity necessitates empathy, which they lack and  favour partnerships that are practical rather than emotionally invested.

5) No respect for personal boundaries

Narcissists are constantly preoccupied with themselves and  feel they should be able to have a say in the personal matters of others’ lives and feel outraged when you are adamant to define yourself and exercise your right to carry out your plans as per your aspiration. Narcissist may even  become bossy and humiliate you when things don’t take place the way they want.. Diversity is a quality that narcissists do not value.

6) Double standards

The criteria that apply to others do not necessarily apply to narcissists since they think that they are special and superior. For instance, they find it quite offensive when someone is upset with them, but they feel completely justified when the opposite happens. “My grasp of life is far superior to yours,” they argue.

Suffering from a kind of ‘I-am-the-best’ psychosis, narcissists, in a word, tend to see the world only through their own lenses. It is exhausting to deal with their self-serving attributes such as stark manipulations, consequential silences, gaslighting manoeuvres, baseless criticisms, nitpicking,  and the rest. By and large, narcissists have a warped perception of what a good life can be as their primary purpose is self-gratification and nothing else. Let them feel threatened by your right to live your life the way you want it to be.